It's official  We will have our wedding August 27, 2010 at the Loghouse Gardens in Keizer. It's nice it is only about a ten fifteen minute drive from our house. I can't believe I'm going to spend SOO much  money on this damn wedding... but i guess that's what happens. Neh it'll be real nice though.
               Today is Grandma's birthday and Charlie's mamas!! So we have a bbq for grandma today them tomorrow is Jess' party and my mom made a kickass taco pinata. I can't believe my lil man is turning 16... where does the time go...
 I lost my camera but as soon as I find it I'm going to post lots of pix...

til then!

I can't wait to get our own place.

Ninja has been back to our house everyday so far, yay! But today Mango hissed at him :/....... Ive been feeling real weird lately It's a heqad stomach thing. I dont know. Tomorrow I'm going over to grandmas with Driu. Hopefully Charlie will come with I just feel weird sometimes with my family anymore... It's sad it's just the way it has becomme tho. I dont know = /...

              Ok so I was gonna update this saying how Ninja escaped and I was interrupted by my fiance calling me to tell me he saw a cat that looks just like Nin he's been missing for almost two months  and I saw him! it was him... we're going out tomorrow to look for him. We chased him around the neighborhood trying to catch him for a good twenty minutes before we lost him. I hope we get him back... Ive missed him so much. On other cat news a month after Ninja ran away we got a lil girl cat named Bella for Mango would have a friend. He got real depressed when Ninja left.. but Bella wasn't the perfect match for him. Mango hates all cats but Ninja :(.... I don't know I'm so happy but sad right now we were so close to getting him back.. charlie actually jumped for him but Ninja was being a ninja and got away.

       on other non cat news.... We're currently looking at places to get married at next summer... this shit is harder than i imagined somewhere that fits all our criteria and is within our price range it's nearly impossible lol. I got a dress and I liked it but didnt love it so I went back and got a different on and I'm completely in love with. Now if I could only find a place.. if not I'll be spinning around in my dress alone.

Anyways for now thats all eight hours gotta wake up  and watch zozo  cant go on no sleep anymore wahh

julie + adderall = cleaning day

i dont know anymore I've been on some new medications they dont seem to be helping i post in here cos noone knows of it expect you guys not my bf or family. it's just easier that way. lately ive been feeling really suicidal then my manic kicks in and it's just wearing me out physically and mentally.


I just feel lost. I'm trying to reconnect with ppl of my past the ones that helped obviously. I haven't decided wether its a good thing or a bad thing..I just wish i could feel good feel healthy and happy. I'm trying i really am but my mental crap is so much to fight.. I don't know. I hope this all just turns out good. Cos if it doesnt get better i fear that i will become who i used to be and im through with that part of my life...

I am in Orlando now at a disney resort and let me tell you I love DISNEY i really do and mickey preztels are teh best. in bad news my cockateil Riley is suffering with kidney failure. He has to be put on a special diet and such. His uric Acid level is over 17 and it should be UNDER 10! so my baby is quite sick. I hope he gets well and if not his last part o f his life will be the best hes ever had...

Yogi died yesterday.... We went to get him a friend today. We have "pretty bird" now. but yogi isn't with us anymore and it's one of the saddest things i grew close to him in this last week esp.